


i dreamt i slept on a sidewalk

by aNerdObsessed



Series: Post-TROS Fix-It Fics [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkwardness, But they don't know that, F/M, Fix-It, Poe Dameron Loses His Cool, Redeemed Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23569615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aNerdObsessed/pseuds/aNerdObsessed
Summary: Redemption is a process, not a moment. And Rey will fight anyone who thinks otherwise
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Post-TROS Fix-It Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1576006
Comments: 20
Kudos: 81





	i dreamt i slept on a sidewalk

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I love Poe Dameron, but I think we can all agree that he's a little bit of an idiot
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://a-nerd-obsessed.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/nerd_obsessed)

“It’s going to be fine,” Rey had said, but the worry lines on her forehead said otherwise.

“I know,” he had reassured, ignoring his doubts, watching her pace the main hold. Normally that’s his thing, but for once her impatience outweighed his own. She wasn’t really pacing, she was wandering, fidgeting with a crate of fuel line patches and motivator spares and frowning at the dust bunny in the corner.

Finally she’d said she was going into the settlement to restock their food supply. He’d agreed, knowing she needed to do something tangible while they waited for her friends at the rendezvous.

“I’m sorry,” she’d said as she disembarked the _Falcon_.

“Don’t be,” he’d said. “This is my idea.”

She had hesitated, then lifted up on her toes to press a quick kiss to his cheek. He’d had a sudden urge to snag her arm and drag her back to the bunk, hiding her away and holding her and forgetting about everyone else. But that would create more problems than it would solve, especially if Poe or Finn or Rose found them tangled in the sheets. Yeah, not a good idea.

He had let her pull away and waited until she’d disappeared under the _Falcon’s_ hull before turning to start the diagnostic checks he’d been putting off, but might just be what he needed to occupy his mind.

That had been about an hour ago.

Ben Solo isn't nervous.

He’s anxious. There is a difference.

Ben hears the rumble of a starship shifting from sublight to repulsorlift engines outside the _Falcon_. He pulls himself up out of the maintenance hatch, rubbing his hands on his trousers to rid them of grime. A quick check confirms Rey is still away. He sighs and rubs a hand over his face, bracing himself to greet their visitors before he makes his way off the _Falcon_.

Finn and Poe don’t recognize him immediately, which Ben attributes to the fact that he’s not lunging towards them with a sparking crimson lightsaber. They halt a few meters away, clearly taken aback by his appearance. The woman he assumes is Rose is less startled than the others, eyeing him curiously.

“Who the hell are you?” Poe Dameron says, squinting suspiciously at him.

Finn seems to put the pieces together first, his nostrils flaring and his body freezing up. “Where’s Rey?” he demands, his eyes darting around as if he expects Rey to burst from the foliage surrounding the clearing.

“Ben Solo,” he offers. “Rey’s at the settlement.”

Ben watches as Dameron’s brain catches up with his instinct. He deftly draws a blaster and aims it at Ben’s chest, flinging an arm out in front of his companions. Finn’s quick to follow, pulling his weapon from a holster at his hip.

“Get back!” Dameron shouts. Ben smirks a little at Dameron’s panic. Rose is startled by his outburst as he tries to herd his friends back.

“Poe?” Finn asks, his body rigid as he moves Rose behind him.

“What are you –” Rose starts, but Dameron is quickly racing down the path to feral.

“It’s Kylo Ren,” he spits. Rose peers out from behind Finn, a deep frown on her face, but oddly enough she doesn’t seem frightened. She’s still defensive, though, that he can sense.

“Where’s Rey?” Dameron shouts. “What did you do?”

Ben frowns. “I told you. She’s at the settlement.”

“Liar!” Dameron brings his other hand up to grip the blaster aimed at Ben’s chest, but he doesn’t shoot, no doubt remembering the last time he’d taken a shot at Kylo Ren and how that had failed. “Tell me where she is!”

“She’s fine,” Ben growls, letting his frustration show. He’d known this wouldn’t go well but he’d anticipated Rey being present to moderate.

“I don’t believe you,” Dameron hisses.

“That’s reasonable,” Ben says, trying to school his face into a neutral expression.

“Poe,” Finn says warningly.

“What the hell are you playing at?” Dameron almost screams, and Ben feels a sudden twist of sympathy, knowing he’d hurt this man in unspeakable ways and he was frightened more than he wanted to show. Ben stiffens at the remembrance of tearing through Dameron’s mind, the pain and fear so overwhelming even as he burrowed deeper in his quest for the map to Skywalker.

Ben twists his face into a distant scowl. It’s a poor substitute for his mask.

How had he ever thought meeting them would be a good idea?

“It’s probably best if you go back to your ship,” Ben says, unable to keep the undertone of command from his voice. It clearly doesn’t sit well with Dameron.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Dameron spits.

“Poe,” Finn urges, gripping the Resistance pilot’s arm even as he keeps his eyes and weapon fixed on Ben. “We need to go.”

“Not without Rey,” Dameron snarls. He’s worked himself up so he’s panting. “He’s done something to her. You sick fuck!”

“We’ll need help if we’re going to help her,” Rose tries to reason, tugging on their sleeves as she glares at Ben furiously. “We have to tell the Resistance!”

As much as he’s gratified to know he and Rey’s friends agree that she is worth fighting against impossible odds to protect her, he can’t help the unchecked anger at the idea that he’d hurt her. It’s made worse because he knows he had hurt her before, and they know it too. He grits his teeth, feeling the humiliation and frustration and regret swirl in his chest.

Ben steps towards them, his movements slow and deliberate. “You should leave.”

“Stay back,” Finn orders quickly, putting both hands on his blaster still aimed at Ben’s heart.

Ben narrows his eyes. “What do you think that’ll do?”

“Poe, Finn,” Rose pleads, her eyes wide, finally showing some semblance of fear.

“Care to find out?” Dameron dares.

Ben shrugs, responding with a provoking smirk.

Dameron shoots.

Ben flinches, belatedly. Not to avoid the bolt, or from the bolt’s impact, but because Rey is suddenly in front of him, her lightsaber blazing in her grasp. Dameron’s shot buries itself in the turf, having glanced off the humming plasma beam Rey wields.

Rey’s furious. Her whole body is taut, her feet set wide as she holds the blade aloft.

“Stop!” she shouts.

“Rey!” Finn exclaims, relief in his voice even though he keeps his weapon steady.

“Point that somewhere else,” Rey says firmly. “You too, Poe.”

“Rey, are you okay?” Rose asks, concerned.

“I’m fine,” she grits out. She relents a little when neither Poe or Finn seems likely to take another shot, at least while she’s standing between Ben and them. “Just, put the blasters down.”

“I’d feel better if you came over here,” Poe says in a hard voice.

“Yeah, Rey, could you just come closer to us?” Finn agrees

Ben represses the sharp words on the tip of his tongue, again feeling an urge to snatch Rey and drag her onto the _Falcon_ before jetting off into the hazy blue sky. Unfortunately, that would just confirm their suspicions in the worst way.

She sighs. “I’m fine where I am. I’m not his prisoner or whatever you’re think. I swear.”

“Rey –” Finn begins.

Rose interrupts, her voice that forced calm of someone talking to the mentally questionable. “What’s going on Rey?”

“It’s fine, alright? I’ll explain if you put the blasters down.” Rey pauses, then takes a step forward. “Please?”

“That’s Kylo Ren, Rey,” Poe objects with venom. “He’s supposed to be dead.”

Ben shoots him a glare. Rey glances over her shoulder at him, her eyes filled with a thousand emotions. Although he’s pretty sure the predominant one is saying _please don’t do anything stupid_. “I know.”

“I don’t like this,” Finn mutters.

“Please. Trust me,” she says.

Rose is calculating, looking shrewdly at Ben, glancing between Rey and him. “We should let her talk,” she concedes, her arms crossing.

“Thank you,” Rey says, disengaging the lightsaber and straightening. They in turn lower their blasters, although Ben notes with grim amusement and reluctant approval their hands don’t stray far from their weapons.

Rey turns to him. “I think you should wait on the _Falcon_.”

“No.” The word is harsh, immediate.

Her eyebrows draw together. “I think that it would make this easier if you weren’t here.”

He steps closer to her, ignoring the collective flinch from her friends. “They think I fucking kidnapped you. How do I know they won’t do just that to _save_ _you_ from me?”

Her frown, which had previously been mild and worried, begins to deepen and turn angry. “Well, I can handle myself, so it doesn’t matter. Also, apparently they aren’t going to be reasonable if you’re brooding in the background.”

“I don’t –”

“You are. Right now.”

He growls. “I thought we agreed to talk to them together.”

She places her hands on her hips. “That was before you antagonized them.”

“Me? How is this my fault?” he snaps. “Dameron shot at _me_.”

“And you didn’t provoke him?”

“No! Yes! I didn’t intend to! He’s very easily –”

“And you were going to let him shoot you; you just stood there! What the fuck, Ben?”

“I thought it might help –”

“Help?” Her voice is just short of a shriek and Ben winces again.

“Yes?”

Her lips press together in a hard line, her eyes blazing. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

He throws up his hands in an exasperated gesture. “Nothing I could’ve said would’ve diffused the situation.”

“So getting yourself shot is the obvious solution?”

“It’s an option, yes.”

Ben realizes he fucked up when he notices the sheen of tears in her eyes.

“No. You can’t purposefully get yourself hurt, Ben. Understand? You can’t.”

He reaches out and touches her arm, disregarding the hiss from Dameron. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it like that.”

“You didn’t think,” she accuses, but it’s quieter.

“No,” he admits with a wry quirk of his lips. “Probably not.”

She sighs. “I meant to return sooner. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Nobody was hurt.” He lowers his voice. “But how much you want to wager there’d be bloodshed if I kissed you right now?”

Her eyes widen as he leans in. “Ben. Don’t.”

He smirks, his eyes flickering to her lips. “Fine.” His gaze slides behind her to find her friends staring at them in various attitudes of shock and fear and his smirk grows. “You should probably explain this to them.”

“Yeah,” she breathes.

He stands back. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

Rey blinks. “Thank you.”

Ben shrugs. “I think it’s my turn to take a walk. Call if you need me.”

~---~

When Rey has finished her explanation of events, taking them all the way from Starkiller Base to the present, they’re all very quiet. Rey observes their faces, seated together around the holochess table.

Poe is still angry, she can feel it flooding his veins even though he keeps himself still as stone. His eyes, though, express an underlying sense of betrayal. She understands, distantly, remembering how it felt like she was betraying herself to want to know Ben, until suddenly everything was reversed and to betray herself would be to deny him. It’s not the same, she knows, and Poe may never understand.

If anyone would understand, it’d be Finn. But he looks thoroughly bewildered, his mouth hanging open slightly as he traces the grooves in the dejarik board with his thumb. Rey had to bite her tongue to keep back the appeals crowding her mind: he was manipulated and trained from childhood, he didn’t have a choice, he’s trying to be better and make reparations for what he did with the First Order. _He’s like you._ But she doesn’t push.

Rose is the most confusing. It’s frustrating her, Rey knows. She wants to trust Rey’s story. That’s the thing about Rose, she always wants to believe the best of her friends, and Rey was surprised to find out over the past year or so that Rose considered her a friend. And it tore at Rey to think that she was hurting Rose.

“I’m not asking you to be friends,” Rey expounds.

“Well, isn’t that a relief,” Poe seethes.

Rey makes a frustrated noise. “I would like you to just try to understand. Hear him, at least. And if you can’t do that yet, hear me.”

Poe gets to his feet, walking away from them and running a hand through his tousled hair, mussing it even further. Rey tracks his movements warily. “It’s just a little bit hard to believe,” he scoffs, turning to stare at her. “A dyad? Bringing balance to the galaxy? Really? It would be more believable if you’d said you’d fallen in love with him or some shit.”

Rey feels herself pale, her hands tighten to fists. The silence stretches just a moment too long.

Poe's eyes narrow. “Rey. What aren’t you telling us?”

“Oh, shit,” Finn mutters beside her.

Rey licks her lips, trying to formulate an answer that isn’t an outright lie, but somehow won’t inflame Poe even more. She’s not embarrassed or ashamed of Ben, but she doesn’t want to push her friends away by poor phrasing. But before she can come up with something, Poe gathers himself and crosses his arms.

“Are you fucking Kylo Ren?”

“Poe!” Rose gasps.

Finn looks like he might be sick.

“It seems like a valid question,” he shoots back. “So?”

Rey sends him a murderous look. “I don’t think that’s appropriate or relevant.”

“What the _actual hell_ , Rey!” Poe shouts, towering over her.

“Poe,” Rose tries to interject, grabbing his arm to hold him back.

“He’s a murderer! He nearly killed Finn, he killed his own father. He tortured me, he tortured _you_.”

Rey battles the urge to punch Poe in his rage-purpled face as he sneers at her. She’s never seen him this unhinged before, and she realizes with a start that he’s afraid, afraid of _her_ , even as he commands her to answer.

“Tell me!”

Rey opens her mouth to respond.

“Everything alright here?” Ben drawls. No one had heard Ben returning over Poe’s shouting, but Rey is so relieved by his presence she almost feels faint. His face is closed off, an attempt at not reacting to Poe’s antics, but she can feel his frustration and embarrassment underneath the quickly-eroding veneer of calm and it makes her protective instincts rush to the surface. To say this has not been going as well as she’d hoped is an understatement. And even though she’s trying to be the reasonable one, being reasonable hasn’t ever been one of her cardinal qualities, especially when it comes to Ben.

“You again! Get the fuck out!” Poe reaches for his blaster again and Rey’s about to do something she’ll regret, she just knows it.

“Poe, don’t!” Finn cries.

Poe raises the blaster and Rey leaps to her feet, intent on preventing him from doing anything to Ben when he suddenly convulses, his whole body going rigid, his limbs trembling for several moments before he collapses on the floor.

“Poe!” Finn is on his knees next to the unconscious pilot. “What happened?”

“He’s fine,” Rose announces. She holds up a small device that Rey recognizes as an electrostunner remote. “He’ll just be out for a bit.”

Everyone stares at Rose in shock. She shrugs, although she looks on the verge of tears.

“Uh… thanks, Rose,” Rey says, still taken back. She notices Ben’s vice-like hold on her arm as he slowly lets go. She hadn’t felt him grab onto her.

“Don’t make me regret it,” Rose says.

Finn pulls a tiny disc from Poe’s limp arm and frowns at it. “You seem to like electrocuting people,” he says off-handedly.

“It’s effective,” Rose answers.

“Hmm.” Finn tosses her the electrostunner disc. He stands, looking at Poe with a sigh before glancing at the others uneasily. Rey can feel his discomfort and he eventually settles on looking somewhere over Ben’s shoulder.

“I don’t like leaving like this,” Finn says, “but we should probably go.” His eyes flit to Ben briefly as if to say, _if he lets us_.

Rey swallows, suppressing her disappointment. “That might be a good idea.”

Finn nods, then crouches to drag Poe upright. Rose leaps up to help, and after a second’s hesitation, Rey bends down to help as well. Ben simply watches, knowing his assistance would do more harm than good.

Once they’ve hauled Poe over to the Resistance transport with some difficulty and deposited him none-too-gently on a bunk, Rose and Finn rejoin Rey outside.

“I’m sorry,” Rey says, rubbing a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t know if it would be easier if I’d told you beforehand.”

“Probably not,” Rose admits. She smiles briefly, pointedly fixing her eyes on Rey’s face and not on Ben, lurking behind her.

A long moment stretches out.

Rey clears her throat. “Well.”

“It’s good to see you, Rey,” Finn says abruptly.

She straightens, smiles a little. “You, too.”

Rose raises her chin then steps forward to pull Rey into a stiff hug. “We miss you,” she whispers before stepping back. “Take care of yourself.”

“Right.” Finn clears his throat. “We’ll go then.”

Rose and Finn turn to board their starship.

“Wait.”

Rose and Finn halt, turning back to them.

Ben steps forward, then extends his hand, proffering a small object in his palm.

“Is that First Order?” Finn asks, even though he knows it is.

Ben nods. Eventually, Finn tentatively stretches out his hand for the datastick.

“I believe the information on there will help the Resistance locate some of the remaining factions,” Ben says.

Finn looks up at Ben. Rey tenses, ready to intervene.

“Thank you,” Finn says.

Ben steps back. “I don’t expect thanks. This is not a bribe or an apology.”

“I didn’t mean for this. For Jakku,” Finn clarifies.

Ben’s lips twitch for just a moment. “Likely one of the best mistakes I ever made.”

Rey looks between them, but she’s lost context. Still, Finn’s expression is slightly less guarded and that is encouraging.

“Alright. Well.” He looks to Rey again. “We’ll see you later then.”

“Okay,” she says.

“Bye, Rey,” Rose says. “Send me a holo, okay?”

“Okay.”

Rey watches her friends leave, then she and Ben step back as the transport’s repulsorlift engines come online, lifting the ship above the trees.

Ben reaches for her hand as they watch, twining his fingers with hers. “That went surprisingly well.”

She snorts. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Hmm.” She turns to him, sliding her free hand behind his neck. He looks down at her. “It will get better, I think.”

He runs a hand through his hair, mussing it in that adorable way Rey can never seem to replicate when she plays with it. “I hope so.” He smirks, wrapping a hand around her waist and tugging her closer. “Did you ever answer Poe’s question?”

Rey frowns, trying to remember. “What question?”

Ben raises his eyebrow. Rey colors.

“I’m not answering that,” she gripes.

His smirk widens. “Good thing I know the answer.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been reading a lot of Dramione (which is basically Reylo but Potterverse and you can't convince me otherwise) and one of my favorite parts of every Dramione fic is when their relationship is outed to Harry and Ron and Ginny and then I was mad we didn't get that moment in Star Wars. So my sister told me I should write it and 3k words later...
> 
> Leave a comment or kudos to lmk what you think! And if you have any Dramione recs I want to know... :)


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